When your child’s life is at stake
Should you only spank your child when his life is in danger?
I’ve talked to some authoritarian parents about this. The question is, what kinds of things can put your child’s life in danger? We all agree that cars and trucks in the street can do it, so we all keep our children out of the busy street. In high-crime neighborhoods, some parents keep their children off the street even when there are no cars, if you see what I mean.
Some conservative Christian parents insist, perhaps tongue-in-cheek, that they would never spank their child except when the child’s life is at stake. They quote verses such as Ezekiel 18:4, which says, “The person that sins will die.”
Does disobedience itself put your child’s life in danger? Is disobedience itself a “dangerous behavior”? In a dangerous world, it becomes more obvious. In a world of flash floods and wild predators, disobedience can be deadly.
Is it as obvious in our world?
June 28th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
I decided to be brave, and answer your question.
We do spank, but not often. We spank for direct disobedience (My husband or I have
specifically said… and they disobey on
purpose), life threatening things (running
in the road, parking lot, etc; putting
things other than a plug into an outlet,
trying to carve wood without parental permission or supevision,etc.),
repeat offences that they will not give up any other way (constantly whining, arguing with us as parents).
The reason we don’t have to spank often is that we are consistant and our kids obey us and respect us. They feel free to talk to us, and we accept that they are each different from the others- and so we work with what works best with each child.
We also allow them to explain themselves, so they know we are fair.
I have seen some horrible examples of “spanking”, and believe that if you are in a moment of anger, you need to NOT spank. There is nothing wrong with calming down and then dealing with the problem. There is a lot wrong with letting yourself get out of control.
That’s my $.02 worth.
June 28th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
I appreciate your courage. Sure, no parent intends to harm or spoil their child. But if we’re ruled by rules or emotions, instead of wisdom and knowledge of our child, discipline can have unplanned consequences.
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:51 pm
I agree, that is why they are each disciplined according to what works best with them, not by the rule of “we always do this for that”.
We let them know the consequences of their potential actions regularly- but we also praise positive actions and behavior.
I am always telling my kids how proud I am of them, and that I am so blessed to have kids who behave well in public so I can take them with me when I go out.
I think the positive reinforcement is a very important part of discipline, but so are having consequences that they can count on.