What turns a man into a father?
Someone told me that a woman is a mother by the time her child is born, but a man has to become a father. True, what my wife experienced for 9 months (let alone 19 hours) changed her forever.
How does a man become a father? A real father, I mean. Not just a biological father, little more than what a co-worker of mine called her “beloved sperm donor.”
Dr. Michelle Borba at Parenting Secrets writes about what makes older men better fathers. But her observations could apply to any father. Perhaps, to mothers too.
1. Older dads are more involved in child rearing. Some fathers are so involved in their own careers they don’t take time for their children. Or maybe they want to sow their wild oats, so to speak. Guys, they have already been sown.
2. Older dads are more nurturing. Some fathers have a reputation or a self-image to maintain. We’re all wounded, and many of us didn’t have nurturing fathers ourselves. But that’s a child you have there. He won’t be a child for long. He won’t need love later as he needs now.
3. Older dads are more willing to share child responsibilities. Again, some fathers have their own agendas, and can’t admit that the time has come for those agendas to change.
To be a good father means changing the way you naturally do things. You will need to reduce the importance of your career. You will need to spend more time at home. You will need to look at your child with the eyes of a child.
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