Stop bickering
The Common Room quotes an 1891 parenting magazine:
But about family bickerings. The two chief causes of these are selfishness and harsh judgment of others. No punishment is of the smallest use to combat these; punishment may awake resentment and arouse greater spite against the person on whose account it is incurred, but it will never lessen the selfishness by a jot.
The blogger wisely notes that punishment can at least promote self-control. In my own experience, I’ve noticed it can promote repentance, or at least the seeking after it. “Why am I always being punished? Can I change so that I’m not?”
But the point is well-taken that the heart needs to change. I don’t know of any fulcrum that puts pressure on the heart other than God himself. I don’t think you can teach life principles or ethical values that will make a child stop being selfish. You can model the joys of forgiveness and generosity. But I don’t think you can say, “In our family, we are always nice to our siblings.” And make it stick without help.
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