Parent Extremis

I’m not a big fan of following any “method” of parenting to a -T-. I feel more strongly that each child’s personality needs different kinds of care and stimulation and when you claim to follow a certain method you are closing off your options to other parenting resources that might actually make sense to you.

Authoritative Parenting is often seen as the evil step-sister of Attachment Parenting. Authoritative Parenting is built on two components, Parental Responsiveness and Parental Demandingness. This can be seen as love, warmth and nurturing VERSUS discipline and control. The parents have to choose how they balance this concept. Some opt for much more demanding and control and others act with a majority of love and warmth with only occasional control.

According to a University of Minnesota publication here is the core of Authoritative Parenting:

Parental Responsiveness (love, warmth, nurturance): Parental responsiveness is the extent to which parents respond to the child’s needs in an accepting, supportive manner. It is a very powerful force in the development of children, and most children probably do not get enough. Nurturance helps children feel loved, secure, and cared about, and it fosters children’s acceptance of discipline and parental demands. There are many ways to respond and nurture children, including listening attentively spending time with children, being available, and giving more attention to that which pleases and less to that which does not (”catch them being good”).

Parental Demandingness (discipline, control) Demandingness is the extent to which a parent expects and demands responsible behavior from children. This dimension includes both setting and enforcing rules or limits on children. In order to be enforced, rules must be clear, reasonable, developmentally appropriate, fair and just, mutually agreed upon, flexible, and emphasize what to do rather just what not to do. Enforcement of rules is much more than just punishment. Indeed, punishment is probably the least effective of the alternatives available. Monitoring and understanding children’s behavior, preventing misbehavior, rewarding good behavior, and guidance are more effective tools.

It’s that time of year again kids … time to put away the flip-flops and swimsuits and breakfast at 10am while watching Noggin, time to starting going to bed ON TIME and start using those new binders with the questionable factory-plastic smell. Parents: Can you hear that tune in the distance, it sounds to me like …CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!.

Yeah folks, it’s back to school time!

I bet you didn’t know that you can be creative and make a lot of your school supplies, or at the very least, spruce up that bland notebook with something as simple as MASKING TAPE. Readers Digest just recently published an article about the many creative uses of masking tape! We’re not talking about just labeling folders here, you can fix a broken umbrella and design a road for Matchbox cars all using this wonder tape.

You can get creative, resourceful and organized with a few tips and products like aluminum foil and an old milk-crate or cardboard box.

Did you know that you can use aluminum foil in place of a brillo pad to scrub a soiled pot? Uncrumpled you can lay a sheet of it flat on the bottom of the oven to keep drippings from baking on to the oven.

You can use old return address labels for all those pesky school supplies that are always getting lost. A missing pencil bag might just find its way back home with an address label affixed to its side.

Click here to read the entire article on Homemade School Supplies and learn some great tips for labeling, organizing and using everyday household items in new ways.

The Internet is really grand, no?

Without it, you wouldn’t be reading this site, or this or this. But, as parent, the Internet can illicit sleepless nights and intense anxiety, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I thank the LORDS everyday that my child is only two months old and I don’t have to think yet about parental rights and chat logs and general pervertedness that my child might be exposed to simply by signing on.

Although, I know all too well that time goes by fast and I better start thinking NOW about what approach I will take as a parent when it comes to kids and the Internet. A few months ago I read this entry about how a family is dealing with the ins and outs of kids and Internet use. I really respect the openness and communication. It was what first got me thinking about my Internet-related parenting choices.

Whether or not you allow your child to have his or her own computer and use it behind closed doors, or if you have one family computer located in an open family area of the house with parental filters and all, you should know a few of the basics when it comes to lingo.

It’s also important to tell your kids never to share personal information including names and passwords and to always ask permission before downloading anything or joining and groups.

If you want to follow a conversation or just know what your kids are saying when they are typing or texting you, refer to the nifty little key below: (thanks to Parents Magazine for a few of these)

BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
BFF- Best Friend Forever
BRB - Be Right Back
JIC - Just In Case
POS - Parent Over Shoulder
TMI - Too Much Information
TTYL - Talk To You Later
G2G - Got to Go
P911 - Parent Alert
LOL - Laughing Out Loud
OMG - Oh My God/Gosh
A/S/L - Age/Sex/Location
MORF - Male or Female
PM - Private Message
IRL - In Real Life

If you hear your kids talking some lingo, you can always check out Urban Dictionary to find out what it all means.

Above all, it is best to stay informed on what the kids are talking about and doing these days. Although, it isn’t always easy, having an open dialogue with your kids and discussing your values on various issues is the best way to teach them how you want them to act and conduct themselves.

Or, you can encourage them to READ. Gayle at Parenting Teens has some suggestions for fiction novels that hold the interest of teens.