Parent Extremis

The Internet is really grand, no?

Without it, you wouldn’t be reading this site, or this or this. But, as parent, the Internet can illicit sleepless nights and intense anxiety, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I thank the LORDS everyday that my child is only two months old and I don’t have to think yet about parental rights and chat logs and general pervertedness that my child might be exposed to simply by signing on.

Although, I know all too well that time goes by fast and I better start thinking NOW about what approach I will take as a parent when it comes to kids and the Internet. A few months ago I read this entry about how a family is dealing with the ins and outs of kids and Internet use. I really respect the openness and communication. It was what first got me thinking about my Internet-related parenting choices.

Whether or not you allow your child to have his or her own computer and use it behind closed doors, or if you have one family computer located in an open family area of the house with parental filters and all, you should know a few of the basics when it comes to lingo.

It’s also important to tell your kids never to share personal information including names and passwords and to always ask permission before downloading anything or joining and groups.

If you want to follow a conversation or just know what your kids are saying when they are typing or texting you, refer to the nifty little key below: (thanks to Parents Magazine for a few of these)

BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
BFF- Best Friend Forever
BRB - Be Right Back
JIC - Just In Case
POS - Parent Over Shoulder
TMI - Too Much Information
TTYL - Talk To You Later
G2G - Got to Go
P911 - Parent Alert
LOL - Laughing Out Loud
OMG - Oh My God/Gosh
A/S/L - Age/Sex/Location
MORF - Male or Female
PM - Private Message
IRL - In Real Life

If you hear your kids talking some lingo, you can always check out Urban Dictionary to find out what it all means.

Above all, it is best to stay informed on what the kids are talking about and doing these days. Although, it isn’t always easy, having an open dialogue with your kids and discussing your values on various issues is the best way to teach them how you want them to act and conduct themselves.

Or, you can encourage them to READ. Gayle at Parenting Teens has some suggestions for fiction novels that hold the interest of teens.

Greetings!

I’m the new writer for Parent Extremis. I’m no more qualified to write for this site than I am to care for my own seven week old baby. So it should be a fun ride! No, really, I plan to use this site to evaluate and discuss a variety of parenting issues. I hope you will stay tuned for some potentially riveting, or at least mildly interesting discussions of all the issues I can dream up including breast versus bottle feeding, sleep issues (co-sleeping vs. crying it out), the effect of pregnancy on the family, dealing with pediatrician visits and vaccination controversy, dealing with toddlers, heading back to work, discipline methods and much more.

I recently became a stay at home mom, or a work at home mom who does some freelance writing, to Noah, born December 21, 2007. He is almost eight weeks old and I love him more than life itself. We live with my hardworking and devoted husband, Marc, four cats and a yappy little dog.

It’s summer. It’s halfway to fall. And Parent Hacks and Lifehacker have made suggestions for entertaining your little ones. Starting with a visit to the pet store. I’m serious. One of my nephews asked for that as a special 5th birthday outing. He was doing tropical fish imitations for weeks after that.

I have two inclinations of my own:

1) Variety. Diversity. How many good experiences can I give my child while he’s young? How many ways can I stir up his gray matter, and the invisible parts of his soul? I want him to spend time with other cultures, listen to a diversity of good music, read a variety of good literature, touch a variety of textures, think a diversity of thoughts. Some of it he will never forget. And I can never predict what that will be.

2) Reality. Substantiality. How can I integrate my child’s life into my own? What can I do that he can do too? How can we both take part in the basic activities of life, such as growing our own food, working with all parts of our beings?

The crepe myrtles in my neighborhood are blooming. It’s no time to focus too narrowly.

You mean a short separation can actually reduce separation anxiety?

Someone I wish I could have met at BlogHer (not that I was invited.)

Teen peace protesters: of course, one of them happens to be eligible for the draft.

Funerals and cemeteries help improve my perspective on life. Can it work that way for children?

You’ve heard of home birth without a doctor. It usually involves a midwife. But have you heard of home birth without a midwife?

Strollerderby wonders why children don’t walk to school much anymore. She says they’re going to get flabby if they don’t.

One commenter suggested what I was thinking: maybe parents don’t think it’s safe.

I walked almost a mile to elementary school, but we walked in packs. Nobody could bother us.

When I was older, we would wait for the school bus alone. Everybody did. Now, when I pass school bus stops, I usually see a car parked next to them. Parents watching their kids. That would have embarrassed me.

But if it’s not safe to walk to school in your neighborhood, is it safe to live there?

I hear that land gets cheaper the farther you go from town. There is some real cheap land and homes in dying farming communities in the Great Plains. If you don’t take advantage of the opportunity, they’re thinking about letting the buffalo range freely again.

Brian Comer at Sympathy Pains tagged with this meme. I think that’s what you call it.

1) If you read this blog, you can probably come up with more than seven strange things about me already.

2) I will soon have chickens in my urban backyard. I studied the municipal code to make sure I’m legal.

3) Since I used to live in Southern California, I’ve seen movie stars. Walter Matthau said Hi to me, but Sally Field didn’t. I don’t think she saw me.

4) I told my mother that President Kennedy had been shot, but I wasn’t sure if he was shot into space or shot with a gun.

5) My parents are both descended from the same 15th century English duke.

6) I know my way around the Amish community in Webster County, MO pretty well. If you need great custom woodwork, ask at Zook’s.

7) My great-grandfathers on all four sides had about a dozen siblings each.

Okay, that’s not how the British Medical Journal announced it, but I couldn’t resist. Specifically, the study showed that when parents plan to give birth at home (as we did), even if they have to go to the hospital later (as we did), they are subject to fewer interventions, such as epidurals, episiotomies and caesarian sections.

Midwives transfered their clients to the hospital about 12% of the time, but only considered it urgent in 3.4% of the cases. Even after the transfer, intervention rates were much lower for the women who had planned a home birth than those who had planned a hospital birth: more than ten times lower for some procedures. “Compared with the relatively low risk hospital group, intended home births were associated with lower rates of electronic fetal monitoring (9.6% versus 84.3%), episiotomy (2.1% versus 33.0%), caesarean section (3.7% versus 19.0%), and vacuum extraction (0.6% versus 5.5%).”

But that’s not the part I thought was most interesting. The study shows, perhaps without meaning to, that with all the interventions and medical additions that happen in a hospital delivery room, childbirth is not safer there than it is at home. But maybe not any less safe. According to the study. Just less enjoyable.

The study concludes, “Planned home birth for low risk women in North America using certified professional midwives was associated with lower rates of medical intervention but similar intrapartum and neonatal mortality to that of low risk hospital births in the United States.”

Babylune in Ontario says that midwives there can’t meet the demand. What would the demand be in the US if parents here knew more about the home birth option?