Both parent and child can win
Parenting Ideas.org offers some advice on how bedtime routines and rituals make it easier for children to go to bed. When I babysat for my two-year-old nephew, his parents told me that I needed to close the door and ignore his crying, but they didn’t tell me that his bedtime ritual always closed with a hug and a squeeze. So He ended up lying on the floor sobbing, “Hug and a squeeze! Hug and a squeeze!” and I thought I was supposed to dutifully hold firm and not give in. His English skills were not fully polished at that age, of course, and I couldn’t understand his accent. I don’t know what language he spoke before he was born, but it wasn’t English. You can tell these things.
But back to the article on bedtime routines. The author, Susanne Myers, says, “Another good tip is to give her choices in the routine. It is usually best to limit those choices to 2 or 3…. Only give her options that you can live with. That way you both win. She feels like she is having some control over her life and you get her to do what needs done.”
Another advantage of choices is that it helps the child to learn that there are limits to freedom. In the real world, you don’t have unlimited choices. The real world humbles you.
July 31st, 2007 at 12:43 pm
So very true!