Parent Extremis

I didn’t read many parenting books when I was pregnant because I didn’t think I needed to read a million and five theories about how and when to hold and feed my child.  I wasn’t interested in the scare tactics that many of the books utilize to get parents on board with their “methods”.  Ultimately, I believe that children need tons of love, non-physical discipline, age-appropriate, relevant and rational limits, good role models, a strong family network and exposure to a wide range of activities and experiences in order to become healthy and well-adjusted individuals.   I suspect that most parents would agree.

One of the parenting-method theories is called Attachment Parenting.

Those who subscribe to Attachment Parenting believe they are raising children to become highly empathetic people able to form strong interpersonal connections. “Attachment Parenting challenges us as parents to treat our children with kindness, respect and dignity, and to model in our interactions with them the way we’d like them to interact with others.”

The eight principles of Attachment Parenting include Preparing for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting; Feed with Love and Respect; Respond with Sensitivity; Use Nurturing Touch; Engage in Nighttime Parenting; Provide Consistent and Loving Care; Practice Positive Discipline; and Strive for Balance in Your Personal and Family Life.  A description of these principles can be found here.

I really like some of the concepts of this “method” but I can’t wholly support any one method of parenting that is so structured.  It can be too challenging and confusing and also it tends to make mothers feel inadequate.  As mothers, we have enough guilt and worry about how we are mothering, we don’t need the added stress of feeling as though we need to follow the rigors of someone else’s recommended model for our behavior.  I do agree that babies need a lot of physical contact and that this specific contact does make them feel safer, more loved and therefore well adjusted children in this world.   For example, a mother should use a baby carrier OR sling because she wants to and needs the convenience not because she if fearful that if she doesn’t she will harm her child or cause irreversible emotional damage.

Do you practice Attachment Parenting, what can you say about it?   Do you feel it has made you better as a parent?  How so?